You’ll probably laugh reading the title and fair enough it’s probably amusing but it’s something I was close to googling last week – as funny as that sounds. I’d nearly google it now just to see if anything pops up.
I’ve been struggling hugely with my anxiety & depression over the past couple of weeks, moreso than usual and for no obvious reason. I hide it well and if you scrolled through my Instagram feed or had a peep at my snapchat story you probably wouldn’t have a clue, but I don’t want it to be that way. Anytime in the past that I’ve shared bits of this part of me I’ve been reminded of just how important it is that I do just that. As an “influencer” (not something I would ever see myself as or ever wanted to be but it seems I’ve fallen into that category), I think it is so so important for me to highlight the fact that I’m very much human and struggle with things just as much as any other person. It’s easy to look at an Instagram page and just assume that their life is better than yours for whatever reason. A huge part of my Instagram and my online presence is being transparent – being honest with my followers and staying true to who I am as a person, no bullsh*t. As much as I don’t broadcast how down I’m feeling somedays (mainly because I want to give people something positive to look at), I don’t want to hide it either and I certainly don’t want people to think I don’t struggle, because I do.
The reason I’m writing this is again to highlight how anxiety and/or depression is an everyday thing for so many people. Like so so many people, some of whom will never share it with others. However, part of how I identified what was going on in my head and how I came to terms with it all was simply talking about it. I never believed I could suffer from anxiety or be depressed, “I’ve nothing to be sad about” or “it could be worse” always came to mind when I was struggling. The fact that it could be worse unfortunately doesn’t change how you feel and acknowledging your feelings is the first step in taking control of them. There are no quick fixes, unfortunately, but having even one person to chat to can make the world of difference day to day. After all, thats all I try to do – just take each day as it comes and try not to worry too much about next week or month etc. Easier said than done I know, I definitely need to start taking my own advice but even making an effort is a step in the right direction.
I don’t want this to be an absolute nightmare to read so I’ll stop ranting on now but I just wanted to put this up and continue to be as transparent as I can be. We’re only human, feeling down is unfortunately completely normal but it wont last forever, knowing this definitely makes the tough days a bit easier for me. I know I’ll come out the other side stronger and happier than I’m currently feeling.